17 JAN 3301
Onionhead Now Wiped Out
Admiral Vincent, the Federal Admiral of the Fleet, has announced that the Federal Navy has now practically eliminated the narcotic ‘onionhead’ from Panem in Kappa Fornacis.
“Our systematic destruction of the crop has now paid off, and I am pleased to say we have destroyed all the crops without the loss of a single life since the unfortunate incident a few weeks ago.”
Despite continued pockets of resistance the Admiral also announced a civic aid package to help rebuild the farms to produce less controversial crops, a move that has earned praise from commentators for its political shrewdness.
In a follow up statement an aide requested that independent pilots provide Agri Medicines, Crop Harvesters, Land Enrichment Systems and Biowaste to meet the increased demand generated by the package.