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Master Chefs Coming to Market

26 NOV 3301

Last month, a remarkable story emerged from the Noti system. According to an anonymous report, an organisation known as the Revolutionary Noti Values Party had created a new strain of slave labour known as 'the Master Chefs'. The unidentified whistleblower claimed the slaves were subjected to an intensive training programme designed to transform them into the galaxy's greatest gourmets – a claim dismissed by many as an imaginative hoax. A subsequent report from the Federal Times of a Master Chef training facility at Weber Gateway went some way towards lending credibility to the story, but most people remained unconvinced.

The sceptics were proved wrong, however, when the Revolutionary Noti Values Party announced that not only were the Master Chefs real, they would soon be available for purchase. The announcement invoked the ire of human rights activists, who condemned the allegedly inhuman practices employed in training the Master Chefs. But this did little to deter consumers from placing advance orders for the epicurean slaves.

Now, the Revolutionary Noti Values Party has announced that it intends to further improve the efficacy of its gastronomic labourers by implanting a comprehensive compendium of culinary knowledge directly into their cerebellums. A spokesperson for the organisation said:

"By embedding this knowledge directly in a slave's brain, we can ensure total data integration and retention, which when combined with the slave's inherent culinary ability will result in unmatched gastronomic efficacy. These guys will be able to make a bacon sandwich fit for a king."

The Revolutionary Noti Values Party concluded its announcement with a public appeal for Xihe Companions, which it will combine with the latest holographic technology to create the implants. The group has promised to give generous rewards to pilots who deliver the necessary materials.

CIRG Sends Scientists to Bond Hub

26 NOV 3301

Mere hours after the Canonn Interstellar Research Group defeated the Labour of Varati in the recent Bond Hub election, more than fifty CIRG scientists arrived at Bond Hub from Thompson Dock. The scientists were accompanied by tonnes of equipment, which has been installed in makeshift labs. Professor D Luffy, lead scientist for the team, explained what was happening:

"First, we thank the residents of Bond Hub for calling for this election, voting for us, and allowing us to continue our work on the Unknown Artefacts. We have pledged to investigate the station malfunctions that have dominated the news in recent weeks, and since Bond is also affected we have an opportunity to put it at the heart of our research."

"Our teams have started monitoring the malfunctions side-by-side with UAs brought from the Merope shell, so we can determine the exact nature of the UAs' relationship to these malfunctions."

Commander Lord Zoltan

GalNet Focus on Democracy

26 NOV 3301

This weekly roundup highlights some of the minor factions pursuing the dream of democratic freedom by holding elections.

Here are 10 of the 2,500 minor factions holding elections:

Nurundere Flag

Natural Nurundere First

Onyaks Patron's Principles

Amphisatsu Industries

Co-op of LHS 3343

Revolutionary Furuhjelm II-432 Alliance

Samen Citizens' Forum

70 Ophiuchi Progressive Party

LP 417-213 Organisation

Independent Pichanto Alliance

Elections occur when two minor factions of a similar political structure resolve a conflict over ownership and influence within a system.

Data is correct at time of publishing.